Joe, as you bray and bray your way to the senate, as the "non-official (but the best)" managers of your campaign -  we have decided to model your campaign after your technique of less than adequate governance of West Virginia.  The campaign has been designed in keeping  with your "self appointing" and your "big business - it's ok to seize private land" and "lets poison West Virginia air" strategies.

We would like to award you the following certificates because in our opinion, you deserve them:

Screw the WV land. I am King Coal. My career is first.

Who Me?  I don't know anything about PATH or TrAIL

Mountains?  Heritage? Who needs that?  Badlands and waste are just as good.

Sure Mr. Power Companies, You can come in (wink wink).  You will be a great addition to the displacement of WV citizens from coal.  We are all friends.  Braaay....Braaayyy.....heeehawww...heehawww.  If I let you in will you help me get into the Senate?

I fight for West Virginia. Lets screw it up by taking private land, destroying the environment and running huge power lines through it.  I can always live in DC.